Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
