addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
