hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
