they need to just BURY HIM!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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