yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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