You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
