WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize