i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
