The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
