Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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