1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
