he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
