He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
