I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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