She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
