Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
