I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
