I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
