Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
