i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
