Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
