Where is the hickey?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
