I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
