guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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