And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
