So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
