Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
