Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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