dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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