I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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