i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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