I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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