I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
