I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
