she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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