Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
