Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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