All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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