Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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