So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
