I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
