I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
