god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
