my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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