yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
