Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
