Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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