I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
