Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
