I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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