I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
handjob tips. give me some.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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