No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
