Your dad touched me again.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize