CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize