hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize