Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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