Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He did a backflip because drugs
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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