I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I skipped work to stalk him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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