U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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