If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am one with the molecules
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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