Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
