3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
