Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
