Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
