ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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