who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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