shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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